


Let me remind you how messed up aoba is

by Sei_The_God



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Not real, Or not, aoba is weird, crackfic, cuz im bored, did anyone know that?, have fun, i didnt even think about it until yesterday, idfc, kudos~, so ima lay out the plot for you, this whole damn game is weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4057870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sei_The_God/pseuds/Sei_The_God
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aoba and the rest of Dicksquad are really fucked up people. Crackfiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me remind you how messed up aoba is

Let me remind you how messed up Aoba is.

Mk so Ima go in chronological order to make this easier. (omfg the first word I wrote was 'mk' and then you got this big ass CHRONOLOGICAL word thing in your face like is you writing crackfic or not?)

Okay so we're gonna start with his creation. That bag of dicks Toue decided with his dumbass self that for whatever reason he was finna make some designer babes. So BOOM Sei and Aoba happen. But den UH OH AOBA BE DEAD YO

So this young science bitch named Tae decides “omfg this babe be dead ima take it and give it a proper burial” 

Only to find out that THE DAMN THING CAME BACK TO LIFE IN THE BACK OF HER CAR  
OMFG  
#ZOMBIEAPOLOCOLYPSE

...Anyway.

So she takes it after a while and she takes it to dis Church and shes leik  
its totes okay to leave a baby by a church...near a beach. 

Skip a few years and important details and

LUCKILY FOR TAE'S DUMBASS THIS OTHER BAG OF DICKS NAMED NAIN OR NAINE OR NINE I REALLY DUNNO ANYMORE, HE COMES OUTTA NO WHERE AND STARTS TALKING TO CHILD AOBA AND A WHILE AFTER THAT HE DECIDES  
AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IMA TAKE IN THIS CUTE BABY BOY THAT ENDS UP LOOKING LIKE ME IN THE FACE AS AN ADULT EVEN DOE I DIDNT MAKE IT  
Wait.

What if Naine was a sperm doner and that's how Sei and Aoba were made.  
And thats why Aoba looks like Nine.   
OMFG #CANONTHEORY

...Anyway.

He ends up being engaged or whatever to Haruka, THAT BAG OF VIJAJAS, and HARUKAY JUST HASSS TO BE TAE'S ADOPTED DAUGHTER SO TAE'S LIKE

“IM NOT GETTING RID OF THIS LITTLE SHIT AM I”

AND ACCEPTS HIM AND DECIDES   
AYYYYYYYYYYY DIS MY GRANDSON

BUT THEN  
CANINE IS LIKE 'HARUKA LETS GO ON A FOREVER VACAY AND LEAVE THE KID WITH UR MUM'

And Haruka's like  
OKAYYY

And they do that  
And then this old ass woman is left to take care of this 4-5 year old boy that came back to life in the back of her car all that time ago.

SKIP A LOT MORE SHIT AND U'VE GOT AOBA'S TROUBLESOME TEENS

This is the worst nightmare for a parent, mk? Like ima be real right now, dis bitch was sleepin with guys and chicks, and probs hittin that joint, yo, and playing this really fucked up game, like being in a gang except worse. And none of that is safe especially when the person doing all that shit is a rowdy ass boy that can kick other people's asses and also go in their heads and breaks their minds and shit.

So dis asshat got way too goddamn proud and accidentally broke his dumbass self and landed himself in the hospital with like TOTAL MEMORY LOSS so like say he had sex with Koujackoff he'd be like  
“IVE NEVER FUCKED WITH A GUY BEFORE” even doe  
UH OH DID U FORGET THAT YOU REMEMBERED UR PAST DUMBASS AND YOU ARE SO NOT A VIRIGN

...Anywho

SO Aobass gets out of the hospital and shit's cool now, mk, he chill now, he aint tryna fuck yo wife no more mk he got a job at a rinky dink shop and accidentally on purpose uses his voice to pretty much brainwash peeps into buying his shit. And dis bitch is SO GAY   
ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING FUNNY  
LIKE AS SOON AS U START THE GAME  
EVERY TIME HE SAYS 'HAI!?' YOU JUST DIE LAUGHING  
THATS HOW GAY HE SOUNDS

Outta no where  
OH LOOK YOUR LONG LOST TWIN BOTHER THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU UNLESS YOU IN YO TRUE FORM COMES OUTTA NO WHERE AND HES LEIK  
AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY COME RESCUE ME

(and at this point im like “HE CLIMBING THRU YO SMARTPHONES, TEXTING YO PEOPLE UP, TRYING GET EM SO YALL NEED TO HIDE UR DOGS, HIDE YO BIRDS, AND HIDE UR UKE CUZ HE TEXTING ERRYBODY OUT DERR”)

anywho

Get ready to explore the magical land of Midorijima with Aoba Seragaki and friends as they embark on a journey to the kingdom of Platinum Jail, where the princess Sei is being kept under lock and key under the rule of the evil king Toue, and his faithful minions the Alphas. Together, with Noiz, the brains, Mink, the brawn, Koujaku, the killer beast, and Clear, that guy whos just kinda there to be there, the Dicksquad is sure to save the day~!

 

Anyway so that happens  
Toue is never found, dead or alive, so everyones like  
Go back to living

And the voices in aoba's head are never heard from again

wait I neer talked about that  
dammit  
I assume since you're going thru Archive Of Our Own, in the DMMd section, you know the story  
so derr you go  
I felt like writing  
and didnt feel like being cereal  
cuz school's almost out  
and my brain is fried


End file.
